Maywald – Saddest Day [OUT NOW]

Little known fact: The Bearded Man wasn’t always the chiseled, Greek god of a man you see before you. Nope, he didn’t always have his luxurious, curly hair so thick it would make Fabio blush. Yes, once upon a time, he let himself go completely. After a particularly nasty bit of heartbreak (one that involved a toaster being thrown at his head, cracking open his skull and nearly lighting his hair on fire), The Bearded Man checked out of life. His only friends were donuts, and he went through them one box at a time, laughing at each piece of circular dough as he choked it down his pathetic and miserable face. He didn’t leave his house for weeks, and the smell got so bad that the cemetery next door started to complain. And then his other neighbor, the surströmming factory complained that the smell of his apartment was getting so bad they were worried about their health. The Bearded Man used all of his strength and stood up, where his large body had permanently disfigured the couch. But then, it happened. The last donut rolled off his engorged belly onto the floor. He wanted it so bad, but he could no longer reach the floor to get it. That truly was the saddest day, and a day he never forgot! It motivated him to soaring heights, and it will always be the donut that got away…

The Bearded Man: