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Death is too heavy. So with that, we’ll play the ignorance card and pretend we don’t know what pushing daisies means. Which brings up a funny story. You see, not long ago, The Bearded Man found himself in a bit of a spot. He was at his beachfront house in Hawai’i, when for the first time ever, he spotted his neighbor. His other neighbor was Steve Jobs (may he rest in peace), but this guy was new. He looked like Doc from Back to the Future, and he invited The Bearded Man into his home. There, he showed him what he was working on — ultra intelligent robots imbued with AI and an a$$ that just won’t quit. Code name for the project? Daisy. It wasn’t clear to The Bearded Man whether this mad scientist was creating these robots for purposes other than pure sensual pleasure, but what was clear was that there was still a long way to go. For example, each Daisy had a nasty habit of just shutting down randomly at the worst possible time. Daisy is trying to chop down a misguided tree with a chainsaw? Boom, shut down. Chainsaw goes flying, nearly decapitating several people. Daisy is trying to light a bonfire? Uh oh. Shut down again. Gasoline and sparks everywhere. No good. After a week of seeing how robot servants would treat him (before the singularity and the inevitable doom of all mankind), The Bearded Man found himself with deactivated robots strewn all over his property like casualties from some horrific war. Terrified by the thought of it, The Bearded Man grabbed the keys to his trusty bulldozer, and started rounding up the robot femmes and getting them back to his neighbor’s property. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the story of something something pushing daisies, you get the idea.
The Bearded Man: